My adoption story

I am writing this for my biological family, my children, friends, as well as myself. I asked my mom to give me a few details so that I made sure I had them written down correctly and she wrote to me the most beautiful letter that brings a waterfall of tears from my eyes each time I read it.

The story of my adoption begins in 1973, when my mom and dad were married in the Oakland, CA temple, 7 years before I was born.

My mom was hesitant to have children, being the youngest, and having not grown up around little ones and my dad being the youngest in a large family always knew he wanted children. It didn't take long for my mom to get pregnant with her first baby after a little coaxing from my father.

Christian Shaun Berry was born on October 18, 1974, weighing 7lbs 6oz. My dad was in the navy and was overseas at the time of the birth, so my mom was living with my grandma and grandpa in La Grande for the 8 months my dad was scheduled to be away. My mom remembers that her due date was October 10th or 11th because she was a week overdue when Christian was born.

The night she went into labor she was on the phone and felt her water break and instead of seeing clear liquid she saw a large amount of bright red blood. The rest of this birth experience I will leave in her words....

"My mom took me in to the bathroom while my dad tried to find the number to the hospital. He was really shaken up and couldn’t find anything. I still remember seeing him sitting on the floor with the phone book in his hands. My mom wrapped me in towels and got me into the car and rushed me to the hospital, which was not far away. It is where it is now, and we lived on Grandy at the south end of the viaduct on Second St. They took me into the emergency room and then up to maternity. I remember being hooked up to the fetal monitor and the heartbeat starting to drop. My Dr. was Fredrickson, but they couldn’t find him as he was at his son’s football game at EOU. Dr. Haddock was on call. They rushed me in to do an emergency C-Section. Christian died during delivery, from all the bleeding. The placenta had ruptured right at the umbilical, causing massive blood loss. I remember my mom (and I think my dad) coming in the next morning, and having the nurse bring in the baby. They wanted me to see him so I would always know that he was a beautiful, perfect baby with no abnormalities. What a traitor my body was. What a loss. It was hard not to have your dad there, I missed him and needed him. They got a message to his ship and his ship turned around and took him back to port in the Philippines where he caught a flight home. He was able to get a ride to Biggs, where my dad met him and brought him home. He was able to spend a month with me before he had to go back to his ship for the rest of his cruise."

A week after delivery my mom developed a uterine infection, causing her to hemorrhage, requiring blood transfusions.

My second brother I would never know was born a year later on October 21, 1975. Shane Burton Berry weighed 8lbs 6 oz and the pregnancy was painful. My dad was stationed in Concord, CA and they lived in Vallejo. The closest hospital 20 miles away. Seeing as this pregnancy was high risk my mom was scheduled to be admitted to the hospital October 22 and then have a c-section the morning of the 23rd.

"The night of the 21^st, I was sitting in the living room and experienced a pretty severe pain which doubled me over. When it passed, dad tried to call the hospital several times, but the line was constantly busy and we were never able to get through, so we gave up. I got up and took a bath and then decided to go to bed, as we had to get up early the next morning. When I went to bed and turned over on my side, the pain hit and it felt like I must be going into labor quickly. Dad called the hospital, got through, and they said to rush me in. Dad drove pretty quickly and when we got to the base entrance gate, he stuck his head out the window and said his wife was having a baby, and they just waved us through. The hospital was on the other side of the base, and we got a flat tire somewhere on the way, but dad just kept driving. They brought out a wheelchair and got me in and hooked me to a fetal monitor. Dr. Burton just happened to be on duty that night. Pretty soon, my blood pressure plummeted to 90 over 60 and kept falling. Dr. Burton started whispering to everyone and pushing them to get them to move. He came over to me and very calmly said, “Mrs. Berry, I think your uterus has ruptured, and we are going to take you right into surgery. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.” They threw me on a gurney and rushed me in to the surgery. I remember going in to shock, starting to get cold and shaking. The nurses were not able to get the IV into my arm. He pushed them out of the way, tipped the surgical table so that my head was lower, and jammed the IV into my arm. All I can remember thinking is just put me out and get rid of the pain. Then I was out. Poor dad. His side of the story is a little different as he was the one sitting up all night while I was in surgery."

"Shane was born and dad says he was perfect and alive. He got to hold him. But the loss of blood was too great and he began to have seizures, which swelled his brain. He never regained consciousness and I never got to hold him or see him moving. He was on life support until he passed away on October 30^th."

Dr. Burton explained to my mom the her uterus had weakened with her previous infection and ruptured at the old incision site. He said that the only reason she was alive was because instead of tearing across the uterine artery the tear turned and ran along side of it. Because attempting to have another child would more then likely cost both her, her life, she had a hysterectomy in April of 1976. Before my mom was ever pregnant her and my dad had a conversation and she asked him what they would do if she couldn't have children? His reply was "We would adopt a baby!" So after the hysterectomy they put in for their first adoption with the LDS Social Services.

My big brother was born July 28, 1977 and they were able to take him home 5 days later on August 1st. Then they had to wait another year to apply for a 2nd adoption. Knowing they could only adopt 2 infants they put in for a girl the 2nd time. The adoption services felt that it could be at least a couple years because they were specific about wanting a girl and that unwed mothers were more commonly now choosing to keep their babies instead of placing them for adoption. They were prepared to wait. About 3 weeks before one year was up the bishop of their church called and told my mom there was a baby girl waiting for them in Salem and they were to be in Salem at 8am the next day to pick her up (they were living in Portland at the time).

The next morning they drove to Salem and were interviewed by brother Christensen. He cautioned them to go into the room, hold me, and pray to make sure this baby was suppose to be part of their family and to let him know if there was any hesitation.

To take you a step back my parents were not eligible at this time to receive a baby girl yet. The church members who placed adoptive babies (all priesthood holders, for those of you who are LDS), would gather all the files of those eligible and waiting for placement and would go through each file together and pray together for inspiration to decide which family was right for the child. When Brother Christensen said they had unanimously decided my mom and dad were the right family they realized that my parents still had 3 weeks until they were eligible for placement. He checked to see what options there were and came up with three: 1). Wait the 3 weeks and then place the baby with my mom and dad 2). Contact Salt Lake and get more records and try to make a new selection, but he said that would have taken several weeks and they would be eligible anyway, or 3: break the rules and place the baby with their family. Their feelings were so strong that this was the right family that they decided since my parents were in good standing with their first adoption that it would be terrible to keep this baby from them for 3 weeks while they could be bonding.

If you hadn't guessed that baby was me. I will allow my mom to explain how she felt when she first saw me :-)

"They finally came to get us and took us into a room where you were laying wrapped in a blanket. I was really nervous. I looked at you and saw the most interesting baby. Your poor little nose was squashed sideways on your little face. You had really wispy hair that would not lay flat, it stuck up all over and you had really long fingers. You were a long, slender baby. Dad & I knelt down beside you and picked you up. We had a prayer asking for confirmation. We really didn’t need to, there was no way that I, or your dad, would ever have walked out of that room without you. You were ours from the very beginning and we always knew it. We were walking on air, knowing that now our family was complete. You were born on July 8, 1979 and came to us when you were eleven days old. We had picked out the name Dawn for a girl before we got married.

I was told from the time I can remember that I was adopted, so it was never a surprise. I knew very little about my biological parents as it was a closed adoption. I never felt abandoned or unloved. I just knew whoever gave me up was young and went through 9 months of pregnancy to give me the life she felt I deserved. It wasn't until I was a mom though that I could even partially comprehend how difficult that must have been for her.

I grew up in a wonderful home, with a loyal loving brother, and wonderful parents who I couldn't love and appreciate more for the sacrifices they made for me, the tears they shed over me and the love they have given me throughout the years.

There is another side to my adoption story as well that needs to be documented. When Oregon's law's changed and I was able to have access to my birth records I found my biological mom, the amazing woman who went through all that pain and suffering to give me a life she couldn't provide at that time.

I have information to gather and pictures to find to complete the story so I guess this will have to conclude part one of my adoption story.